Conditional love vs. Unconditional love
Which love is better? Which love is more realistic?
Contional love
We're told that love should be unconditional. Accepting. Without strings. Wholehearted with no hesitation. We don't love someone because they're perfect all the time and never make mistakes or do wrong. Who could be loved if that was the case?
A mother doesn't love their newborn baby condionally, does she? “I love you with all my heart and soul” is what a good mother should say. A good mother should love their baby without expecting anything in return. God loves us unconditionally, true? It certainly isn't because we're perfect.
“I love you but only if you act right and do things the way I want you to. If you meet my expectations and my needs, then I will love you. But stray away from doing what I want and from what I need and see how quickly I stop loving you. You think you can do whatever and I still will love you? Are you kidding me? Get real.”
Love has conditions. God is Love and God must be worshipped in Spirit. With all of one's heart, soul, and mind. God is a jealous God. You shall have no other Gods above me is what God says. Do we think God wants us loving evil, sin, the devil 😈, or false gods? Do we think God wants us loving false idols? Do we think we'll remain in God's favor if we love money and fame and attention above loving Him? Do we think God wants us to love our own spouse, our parents, our children, and our closest friends as much as we love God? As much as we love the Highest Love in the universe? The God that transcends space and time and created us? We need to get real and face reality. Love is conditional. Has stipulations. Has preferences. Is jealous. Wants to be the most important thing in our life. God has degrees of love and rewards. Love is conditional.
Unconditional love
Love is unconditional. We love because we are commanded to love. Because love is the goal. Because we all know that it is better to love than it is to ignore or hate. We all want to be loved unconditionally, not because we deserve to be loved but because we are human beings created by God and we have value and worth, as imperfect as we are.
I love you not because of this or that or because you're smart or beautiful or good or athletic or artistic or creative or generous or because you're selfless and always friendly. I love you because you are you and you need love just like we all need love. I'm gonna love you whether you like it or not and whether you’re loveable today or not.
You cannot make me not love you. To not love you is for me to die inside and so get used to it because I love. That's what I do and you can't stop me from loving you or do anything to keep me from loving you. Test me all you want. I may get mad or frustrated or disappointed but I am not going to stop loving you.
Some people love us. Some people don't. Are the people who don't love us wrong? Likewise, are the people who love us wrong or are they a huge blessing in our lives?
But we must hate evil. Not love it unconditionally. We must hate certain behaviors. Hate the sin but not the sinner? Hate the evil intentional act by someone who harms a loved one of ours but love that very bad person who we cannot stand and who we despise?
Love is complex. Love transcends and amazes. Love never dies. Love lives on and on. Love is eternal.
But love has conditions.
Or does it?
We can't force our love on anyone. That wouldn't be love. Love must be freely given and freely received. We can love someone from a distance and wish the best for them. Pray 🙏 for them. But we have to respect them
There are conditions to love. A structure to love. Love isn't necessarily having the floodgates wide open. It's directed and focused. The conditions have to be right.
We have to sense what the other needs. Not just give them what we feel like giving them. What they may need from us is space. Freedom. But maybe they need support. But not too much. Maybe they need encouragement.
Love is patient and kind. Love bears all things and believes all things. Love never dies.